


Made Vulnerable

by i_buchanan



Series: The Softening of Steve's Dom-Vibe [2]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AFAB Steve Rogers, Captain America: The First Avenger, Comic Book Science, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Trans Steve Rogers, idk if that last bit's important but there you go, trans author
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 14:24:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13683498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_buchanan/pseuds/i_buchanan
Summary: The serum changed a lot of things. Steve damn well knows that, and sees it in the mirror every day. It's not so obvious to see how Azzano changed Bucky. Thankfully, the core of them hasn't changed a bit, and Steve still knows how to help his best guy. Even if it's only a temporary fix at best.





	Made Vulnerable

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this tumblr post](http://blanketed-in-stars.tumblr.com/post/152903106477/fic-resources-undressing-bucky-barnes)
> 
> Ok, so I wanted to try something a little bit different. I see a lot of trans Steve and I think that's amazing, but I find that there tends to be a lot of focus on the trans aspect of Steve. Which is great! I greatly appreciate that. But I wanted to try and write something where the focus was on someone/something else.
> 
> With that said, I hope you enjoy this behemoth of smut <3

Steve was painfully well aware of how much he and Bucky hid away from the outside world. And in spite of what Bucky probably had to say on the matter, it wasn’t Steve who shouldered the brunt of the secrets. There was always something  _ openly  _ off about Steve, but it was Bucky who felt he had to keep his queerness tucked away in back alleys and clubs that weren’t supposed to exist. For safety, he insisted, because it was one thing for Steve to be obviously off, but if Bucky seemed like he was as well? Queer neighborhood or not, that was just asking for trouble.

It was different on the front. One of the nice things about having such a small, close knit team was that no one seemed to give a damn about what anyone else might be hiding away. So long as they worked well together and kept each other alive, none of them would have cared much if the two of them were literally attached to the hip, or if one of them had a second head on their shoulders.

That didn’t mean that Bucky was very open with them regardless. And there were certainly things that Steve kept close to the chest as well, but he figured it was a little more understandable in his case.

The rest of the team never saw Bucky struggle. Steve was pretty sure it was well-calculated to look that put together in the middle of a war zone, because god knew the rest of them looked a damn mess over half the time.

When it was just the two of them, though? When it was just Steve and Bucky in the middle of the night, all those well-crafted artifices came crashing down.

It was reassuring, in a way. It looked just like the times that he would drop his lady-killer facade the second they locked the door to their shoebox of an apartment in Brooklyn. So while it absolutely broke his heart to see Bucky having such a hard time, it was just familiar enough to keep Steve on stable footing.

It had been a hell of a mission. In spite of everything going right, there was definitely a heavy sense of melancholy over the team that seemed to damper even Dum-Dum's spirits. Bucky took the first watch, with Steve keeping him company until nearly midnight until Dernier and Gabe took over, shooing them away from the fire.

He was undeniably grateful. Bucky had been edgy all night, which had only become more evident the later it had gotten. Still not to the point that the others seemed to pick up on it, but Steve... 

Steve sighed, shield dropping heavily to the ground as he crossed the small tent that they were sharing. “Hey sweetheart,” he said softly, trying not to startle the man.

Bucky blinked a handful of times, seeming to come back into himself. “Hey Stevie.” A small, worn smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “You all right?”

“Was gonna ask you the same thing,” Steve said ruefully, not even glancing down at himself to check. Any bruises and scrapes he accrued were probably almost healed up anyways. He hesitated before sliding his fingers through Bucky’s hair, trying not to compare the greasy texture of it now to how soft it had always been back home.

Bucky leaned into the touch, making a point to roll his eyes. “You’re worrying over nothing you big punk. ‘M fine.”

“I’m worrying over you, jerk. That’s not nothing,” Steve contradicted, guiding Bucky’s chin up just enough so that their eyes were forced to meet.

And really, the fact that Bucky had to look  _ up _ to see him? It was still kinda heady. Still made something pool hot in his gut in a way that wasn’t strictly good in a war zone, but he figured it was perfectly fine when it was just the two of them, as alone as they could be out here.

It felt like entirely too soon when those bright gray eyes turned away, brows furrowed the slightest bit in a way that looked too close to distressed for Steve’s peace of mind. “I’m just tired, Steve. That’s all.”

Steve tutted, unwinding his hands from Bucky’s hair so he could smooth his thumb over the little divot between his brows. “Want me to help with that? Or do you want me to leave you alone tonight?”

The softness in Bucky’s eyes almost immediately shifted, chin jutting out defiantly. As if he was offended by the audacity of the mere  _ suggestion _ . “I don’t recall ever treating  _ you _ with kid gloves when you were having a rough time, Steven. Actually, the one time I did, I’m pretty fucking sure you spanked me hard enough that I couldn’t sit down for a week. So don’t you go thinking that you’ve gotta--”

“That’s not what I’m doing and you know it,” Steve interrupted, cheeks burning from the memory. “I’m asking if you want anything from me. Don’t go jumping down my throat over nothing.”

Bucky huffed, shoulders up around his ears as he shied away from Steve.

Which was a mixed signal at best, because sometimes Bucky wanted him to guide him back and others he wanted Steve to leave him be.

So Steve was cautious, slowly closing the distance again until he was more or less flush with Bucky’s back. His hands came to rest on Bucky’s hips and he could  _ feel _ him practically melt against him.

“You can help me out of this,” Bucky finally said, pulling on the holsters looped around his chest. The extra pouches around his waist were still probably full of ammunition, though Steve wasn’t sure if the bullets were from the army or if he’d stolen them from one of the many dead Germans he’d left in his wake.

Steve wrapped a hand around the well-worn leather, using it to turn Bucky to face him, and he couldn’t help but marvel at how easy it was. Not to say that Bucky ever put up much of a fight against Steve’s touch anyways, but it was still amazing to him.

Even more amazing that now, if he wanted to, he could physically move Bucky even if he  _ wasn’t _ so pliable under Steve’s hands.

“Just let me know if you need to stop and breathe,” Steve instructed lowly, fingers already sliding along the buckles and clasps as he kept his eyes firmly locked on Bucky’s face.

A shallow nod was all he got in answer, and he just had to hope that Bucky would mind his limits.

While that hadn’t been a problem yet out here--which was odd considering that Steve was a lot more physically imposing now than he used to be; he thought Bucky would have a harder time adjusting to it--there had been more than one occasion where Bucky had been reduced to tears, or was left almost unresponsive because he hadn’t noticed how far in his own head he was.

Which was beautiful, but it wasn’t something he wanted them to be dealing with out here.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he said, delicately kissing the top of a too-sharp cheekbone. Bucky had been almost baby-faced when he’d left Brooklyn, and he still sort of was but… His face wasn’t quite as soft as it used to be. Then again, he got the sense that they were all a lot sharper than they had been back home.

Steve was careful, sliding the leather straps through their buckles, then off of him and setting each belt aside gingerly. That alone seemed to remove a lot of weight from Bucky, given the shudder that ran through him as his eyes slid shut. Lashes casting dark shadows against his cheeks as tension seemed to leak out of him.

Before he could get much further, barely opening up the top button on Bucky’s coat, his hands came up to cover Steve’s.

“I need…” Bucky trailed off, palms sliding up the heavy fabric over Steve’s arms before clutching at the harness for his shield. “Let me take care of you first. I need you too…” He gestured vaguely, but after a lifetime of being by each other’s side, Steve picked up on what he was hinting at pretty quickly.

Bucky didn’t want to be the only vulnerable one here. He wanted Steve to let down his own guard a little first.

His breath was shaky, but he obliged--dropping his hands from Bucky and more or less giving him free reign. By now, Bucky knew the trouble spots. He knew what to tread carefully around.

“Whatever you need, sweetheart.”

Bucky took a slow, steadying breath, taking a moment to simply hold on before his own fingers started sliding across the well-worn leather. Still, his hands trembled faintly as they set to unfastening the buckles on Steve’s harness, as well when he switched to gently feeling around for the hidden zippers that kept his uniform on him. It didn’t matter that Bucky knew where they all were. That he’d undressed Steve countless times and knew exactly how to take it off of him. He still dragged his fingers over every seam as if he was searching.

It still felt like the first time when Bucky started peeling it open, barely illuminated by the lantern they kept burning for what little warmth the could glean from it. More than likely it would have to be extinguished long before they actually tried to get some rest, but for now… 

His hands paused over the thick, flat scars on Steve’s chest, delicately tracing the length of them as Bucky’s eyes flickered up. Making sure it was all right, and that Steve wasn’t uncomfortable.

Steve nodded slightly, offering a hint of a smile before ducking down to press their lips together for a brief kiss, chaste in spite of what they no doubt intended to do. The dry brush of their mouths seemed to be enough to offer at least some measure of reassurance to Bucky, at least.

It wasn’t uncomfortable anymore. And maybe, Steve hoped, the scars would fade with time. Maybe there would be no evidence left of what Steve had looked like before the serum.

For now, though, Steve didn’t let himself linger on that. He let Bucky’s skilled, gun-calloused palms shove the uniform off his shoulders and maneuver him to the cots they had pushed together the second they built this camp so they were just like their beds back home.

Bucky barely hesitated once he got Steve seated on the rickety cot, his knees hitting the cold ground with a dull ‘thud’.

“Gentle, Buck,” Steve admonished, even though it didn’t earn him much more than a half-hearted glare from where Bucky knelt.

“How about you just kiss my knees better after and you don’t complain about how I do things?” Light gray eyes flicked back down as Bucky’s deft fingers set to unlacing Steve’s boots, easing each off in turn.

And, yeah, fine, Steve would admit that there was something… Not strictly  _ subservient _ in the gesture, especially not with the petulance in Bucky’s voice, but there was something sweet in it all the same. The kind of sweetness that Steve just wanted to cherish, that made his stomach knot up and stopped any kind of further chastising.

Steve’s pants were next, and the buttons popped open easily enough before Bucky eased them down his thighs.

From this position, with him sitting down, Steve’s dick wasn’t the easiest to get to. But Bucky never seemed to care for ‘easy’. He wouldn’t be with Steve if that was a priority.

Once again Bucky looked up at him, probably double checking if this was  _ still _ ok since god knew that this was one of the things that made Steve shy away the most.

It wasn’t…

The serum had taken care of a lot. Everything was definitely bigger than it used to be and there hadn’t been any bleeding in the months since, but sometimes…

Well. This wasn’t one of those ‘sometimes’, so there wasn’t any sense dwelling on that.

Bucky never seemed to mind what Steve looked like, though. Didn’t seem to care what he did or didn’t have, considering how he was always quick to press his face into the crease of Steve’s hip. To tuck himself neatly between Steve’s legs.

Faint stubble scratched against the delicate skin, both making Steve squirm and heating the blood in his veins at the same time. “You smell good,” Bucky mumbled, fingers wrapping around Steve’s thigh.

“Buck, we haven’t properly bathed in four days.” There was an undeniable fondness in Steve’s voice, visible in the curve of his mouth as he watched Bucky nuzzle against the coarse blond hair at the apex of his thighs.

“Don’t care.” Bucky inhaled deeply, lips pressing damply just below Steve’s belly button. “Can I suck your cock, Stevie?”

It shouldn’t have affected him so easily. God knew how often Bucky had asked that, but--

Steve’s breath felt a little less than steady as he opened his legs further and shifting his hips, able to feel the slickness there cooling in the night air. “Yeah. Yeah, you can do that.”

There was no hesitation, the warmth of Bucky’s tongue dragged up the center of him in a smooth motion before he settled his mouth over Steve’s dick.

He knew better than to  _ actually _ suck, especially right out of the gate, but Steve could still feel the throbbing just shy of painful as Bucky made himself comfortable. As he hummed low in his throat just loud enough that Steve could feel the vibration of it zing from his cock all the way to the top of his spine.

Steve couldn’t even try to tear his eyes away, his throat tightening automatically in preparation to muffle anything shy of words. “God, Buck… You look so good like that.”

There was something almost hazy in Bucky’s slate-colored eyes as he blinked up at Steve. It may well be the crash of adrenaline instead of any sort of actual submission, but Steve was damn well going to take it anyways.

Bucky’s tongue flicked, pressing against that sensitive spot just on the left side of his cock in a way that had Steve biting back a curse. Almost overstimulating in a way that wasn’t entirely pleasant yet.

A sharp tremor ran through him, both from the heat of Bucky’s mouth on the most intimate part of him or from the goddamn  _ visual _ of it…

The fact that Bucky was still dressed probably wasn’t helping matters, if Steve was being honest with himself. There was something more than a little appealing about the dark blue wool of his coat against his olive-toned skin, the embroidered patches on his shoulders, where the material was starting to show wear in the places his holsters strapped around him, and Steve just--

There was a good chance that Steve had a thing for it. He just hated thinking about it like that, as if his reasons for liking Bucky were superficial, but there it was.

His tongue dipped lower, and Steve couldn’t quite manage to muffle the soft moan as the heat of Bucky’s mouth seemed to lance right through him.

“Gentle,” he reminded again, which was met with an apologetic hum before Bucky seemed to fall still. Before he settled into simply holding Steve in his mouth.

He was so good. Bucky was always so quick to do what Steve asked, no matter what it was, and it always struck something in him.

It made Steve feel a little dizzy sometimes, if he was being completely honest.

“Just like that,” Steve crooned, combing through Bucky’s hair. It was getting long. Months out between field missions, and barely any time left to take care of it meant that Bucky’s hair was starting to wave gently over his forehead. 

Really, Bucky probably hated it. Vain as he was, the fact that there were careless locks tumbling into his eyes so often probably got on his nerves. Steve personally thought it suited him. Thought it made him look soft.

He took a moment to brush Bucky’s hair back before tracing the hollow of his cheek, already flushed a faint pink. “Go ahead and take a little more.”

Grey eyes flicked up, Bucky humming contentedly around Steve’s cock as he shuffled forward. Trying to press closer in spite of the fact that there wasn’t anything left that Bucky  _ hadn’t _ fit into his mouth.

Steve’s breath shook as he cradled the back of Bucky’s neck, spreading his legs wider as he tried to draw him in closer. “There you go… That what you need, sweetheart?”

Bucky blinked once, slowly and deliberately. A pretty clear ‘yes’, and Steve couldn’t stop himself from tracing his thumb around the corner of Bucky’s mouth. Admiring the rosiness of his lips and the softness of them.

Steve wasn’t sure how long Bucky stayed down there, alternating between gently sucking and slipping down lower to dip his tongue inside of Steve for brief moments that never quite managed to be enough.

Though, that’s what Steve got for telling Bucky to go easy, so he couldn’t rightfully be frustrated about it.

“Hey,” Steve prompted, gently tugging at the strands of dark hair.

Bucky hummed inquisitively, eyes flicking up to focus on Steve in spite of his mouth staying firmly between Steve’s thighs. Still lapping wetly into the core of him as if it was an automatic reaction to being down there instead of something Bucky had to consciously do.

Which shouldn’t have been as hot to consider as it was, though the heat was accompanied by a pang of guilt.

Gently, Steve urged Bucky back, trying not to stare too long at the dampness of his cheeks and chin, or the kiss-swollen look to his mouth. How thoroughly debauched he looked in spite of the fact that he was fully clothed and Steve hadn’t so much as touched him yet.

Steve ducked down to kiss him, prying his mouth open with a sort of desperation and nearly moaning at the taste of himself on Bucky’s tongue. The hint of bitterness helped offset the sweetness of the way that Bucky gave himself over to Steve. How he let Steve practically fuck his mouth with his tongue.

It still felt like not long enough before he was pulling back to wipe the worst of it off of his face. Only to push the mess past Bucky’s open lips, and it was so hard not to stare as Bucky swallowed it down and licked at his fingers after. As if he was still chasing the taste of Steve.

Which really wasn’t helping his resolve any. “Want to come up, or are you not done yet?” he asked, well aware of the burn in his cheeks. The blood pounding, pooling in his gut that tried to convince him to urge Bucky closer regardless of what he said.

There was a rasp in Bucky’s voice, as if there had been something deep in his throat for the last several minutes. “Not done until you are.”

Steve had to squeeze his eyes shut for a moment. Really, that wasn’t something Steve could argue with. With a shaky exhale, he nodded and guided Bucky back between his thighs, biting back a low keen as Bucky made himself comfortable there once again.

At the very least, the brief reprieve settled Steve down a little bit. Made him feel a little more in control of himself. Even though that control was unraveled quickly under the heat of Bucky’s mouth.

It felt like there was a sort of determination now. Like Bucky was focused solely on his goal and he wasn’t about to let anything get in his way.

He was pretty sure that he was going to die if it went on too long. Steve had to fight to stay quiet, hands fisted in the thin bedding hard enough that he half worried that he’d tear something if he didn’t focus on  _ not _ doing that. But it felt damn near impossible to split his focus between that and the tension coiling in his guts. The way he already felt half-delirious from what Bucky gave him so willingly, without a moment’s hesitation.

Whatever slow build up he had earlier didn’t compare to the sear now, the way it felt like Bucky’s lips and tongue were burning him inside out, how he could feel every stifled sound Bucky made, how one of his hands slid between his own legs as if to get himself off. There was a raw  _ hunger _ that seemed to be radiating off of him, like he intended to devour Steve whole just like this.

It didn’t take as long as Steve thought it would before he was cumming, a jagged sound getting torn from his throat as he curled himself up over Bucky as best he could while still trying not to disturb him. Trying to wring every second of that hot, all consuming pleasure that he could feel vibrating into his  _ bones _ .

Bucky’s mouth gentled almost instantly, returning to dragging his tongue through the slickness instead of across the overly sensitive cock that Steve swore was still throbbing.

It took a while for Steve to settle back into himself, loosening his hold on Bucky’s hair with more than a little chagrin. He hadn’t even noticed that he’d let go of the sheets to curl his fingers around the dark strands. “Sorry, doll,” he said softly, trying to smooth out the locks into some semblance of order.

Bucky wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, cheeks pink and breaths coming in short pants. There was still a self-satisfied smirk in place as he leaned back. “You know I don’t mind if you’re a little rough with me, Stevie. That’s not something I want an apology for.”

Steve huffed a laugh, ignoring the feeling of weakness in his limbs as he dragged Bucky up onto their bed.

The cots creaked under their combined weight, but Steve knew that it  _ could _ hold the both of them. Even if it probably wasn’t the best idea.

Steve just wanted him to be close. To keep Bucky  _ safe _ , even though they were in a war zone and there was little Steve could conceivably do to protect him out there.

Silence hung between them while Steve came down from his high, holding Bucky against his chest while trying to keep their hips apart so that Steve wouldn’t accidentally get any slick on the rough canvas of Bucky’s pants.

Bucky seemed content to wait it out, pressing soft lines of kisses along Steve’s shoulder and giving in easily when when Steve ducked down to seal their lips together. To slide his tongue along Bucky’s teeth, tracing along the sharp edges.  It was still softer, more worshipful, compared to the last kiss Steve offered.

Finally, when Steve felt more like he was in himself, he spoke. “Mind if I return the favor?” he asked, hands hovering over the waist of Bucky’s pants. He’d started shying away last time Steve had started working on his coat, so maybe it would be better to start somewhere else.

There was almost a flicker of hesitance across his face before Bucky nodded, which wasn’t entirely reassuring in spite of the fact that Steve was going to proceed anyways.  Just with a lot more caution than he usually would. Bucky didn’t want to be treated with kid gloves, and he had no problem telling Steve if he actually wanted to stop.

Steve settled himself comfortably over Bucky’s thighs, palms sweeping over the heavy wool covering his sides before tucking his fingers into the pockets of his pants.

Probably, he should  _ actually  _ deal with Bucky’s boots before his pants. But there was something about the thought of bringing Bucky off while they were tangled around his knees that was just…

He brushed off that line of thinking, instead reminding himself that Bucky didn’t run as hot as he did so it would make sense for Steve to want to keep him clothed. And if it indulged some part of him that got off on seeing Bucky a little more powerless than him, that was just happenstance.

Each button of Bucky’s fly was unfastened slowly, and Steve could feel the eager line of his cock against it. The thickness, the warmth radiating off, the dampness he could almost  _ see  _ through the fabric, and Steve just wanted to get his hands on it.

There was a soft, discontented hum from above him as Bucky shifted, legs trying to spread wider in spite of the fact that he really couldn’t. Not with Steve bracketing him in like he was.

“I’ve got you,” Steve insisted lowly as he folded the heavy fabric down his hips. Not as far as he strictly wanted to, but more than enough for now.

“Yeah, but you’re being fucking slow about it,” Bucky complained, even though Steve could hear how his voice was already getting breathy.

Soft, even.

Steve hummed, shuffling down so he could press his face against the well worn softness of his underwear and using the scent to ground him. Even though it  _ had _ been four days and neither Bucky nor the clothes he wore sere strictly clean. Beneath the dirt and sweat, Steve could still smell what was purely  _ Bucky _ .

“Think you like it, though,” Steve murmured. His cheek pressed against Bucky’s dick as Steve tucked his hands under the green wool sweater beneath his coat. “Feels like you like it a lot.”

Bucky made a sound like a frustrated huff wrapped up in a moan as his hips jerked, probably dying for friction. “Can’t believe people fall for that ‘pure and innocent’ routine of yours.” Strong fingers threaded into Steve’s hair, guiding him to look up. “Gonna actually blow me or are you just gonna be a tease about it?” Hips canted up more deliberately this time, and Steve was quick to shift his hold to keep Bucky still.

“You like it when I tease, though.” Steve pressed his thumbs into the hollow of Bucky’s hip. “Don’t be sore, c’mon.”

Bucky sighed, gently pushing at Steve’s shoulder as a less than subtle hint to get on with it.

Steve shifted back up, pressing a kiss against Bucky’s temple for a brief moment before his hands started working opening  _ another _ series of buttons, because whoever had designed Bucky’s uniform had clearly intended it for use in long, drawn out strip teases instead of any sort of convenience.

It was probably Howard’s fault, though he had no doubt that Bucky had taken the design in stride, considering the set of his shoulders when he first put it on. The way he practically preened as Stark explained how he’d ‘upgraded’ the material, and pointed out all the hidden pockets.

Steve tugged Bucky so he was sitting up, making it easier to push the heavy coat off his shoulders and tug the green sweater over his head as well.

Finally Steve could wrap his palms around the smooth skin that curved over Bucky’s ribs, and he paused.

Even in the dim light, Bucky was so beautiful that it hurt. The pale, olive toned skin of his chest that rarely saw the sun. Dark hair waving  gently against his temples. Full lips parted on shallow breaths.

“God, I love you,” Steve whispered, pressing his mouth over the sharp jut of Bucky’s collar. “Doing all right, sweetheart?”

Bucky sighed softly as he slouched back onto his elbows, already returning to being loose and pliant. “Yeah, doll. You ain’t gonna break me, even with those strong new hands of yours.”

Steve almost laughed, thumbing over a dark pink nipple. The chill had already pebbled it, making him more sensitive judging by the sharp intake of breath. “Yeah, all right,” he said warmly. “You wanted me to suck you off?”

There was a slightly discontented hum as Bucky shifted uncomfortably, probably feeling a little too confined given the layers Steve had left him in. “Kinda want you inside me, actually.”

His breath caught in his throat for a brief moment, though it wasn’t an unfamiliar request.

Personally, Steve hated it most of the time when Bucky  _ actually _ slid anything inside of him. Didn’t like more than the brush of fingers, or his tongue dipping in. The latter was  _ definitely _ preferable, for reasons that he couldn’t even begin to articulate even to himself.

There had been very few occasions where Steve had been comfortable enough to let Bucky’s cock breach him, and while it had been amazing…

Well. Bucky was a lot more enthusiastic about bottoming than Steve was. Neither of them liked addressing the reasons behind that, so they just let it be.

“All right, doll,” Steve said, voice much softer than before. Almost gentle.

Discarding the earlier thought of keeping Bucky clothed in everything below the waist, Steve climbed off of their cots, maneuvering Bucky so that he could easily work on the straps holding Bucky’s gaiters up. The canvas was almost worn smooth, and Steve absently wondered if Bucky would get a new set if they wore out. There was only so many repairs they could do on something, but supplies were hard to get as it was, special unit or not.

The ground was cold against his knees, especially considering that he didn’t want to take any layers away from their cot to put below himself. He ran hot; it would be fine. It wasn’t like he could get sick anymore.

Bucky didn’t try and hurry him, or complain about Steve taking his sweet time this time. Which was good, since Steve just wanted to savor every bit of Bucky that he unwrapped, making a point to kiss the prominent bone of his ankle after tugging Bucky’s boots and socks off, the inside of his knee when he got his pants off. Already, Steve could see the bruising forming on his legs, though it could well be from the time spent in his last nest he was hiding up in instead of the half hour he spent on his knees for Steve.

Finally, after what was maybe far too long, Bucky was completely bare before him, save the silver tags resting against his bare chest.

Technically speaking, they were Steve’s tags. They would switch back once they got closer to base, but out here it felt better to wear each other’s. It felt  _ right _ .

Steve took a slow breath, leaning in to kiss the hollow of Bucky’s hip as well, feeling his cock twitch barely an inch away from his cheek. “Slick’s in your coat pocket?”

There was a split second where Bucky was just blinking down at him before he leaned back to grab his coat, rifling through the pockets and giving Steve a damn good view as Bucky stretched, long legs looping around Steve’s shoulders to give the impression of stability. The small tin of Vaseline was quickly retrieved, but not before Steve had ample opportunity to admire Bucky as he searched for it with deft hands.

He smoothed a palm up Bucky’s calf before grasping the tin out of his hands, standing up and watching as Bucky tried to hold onto him even when it left him halfway off the mattress, held up by his legs around Steve and nothing else.

“You’re so needy,” Steve chided, in spite of the fond smile on his lips. He wrapped his hands around Bucky’s hips to better support him, because that was not an injury he wanted to try to explain away to their team. “I’m not going anywhere, Buck. You don’t have to try and keep me close when I’m staying right here regardless.”

That was met with a grimace as Bucky tried to drag him closer, in spite of the precarious position he was in. “How about you quit snarking me and start fucking me?” Bucky retorted.

Steve tutted, kneeling on the cot and easing him down gently. “Not even going to ask please? I thought you were supposed to be the well-mannered one here.” As he spoke, he took to tucking anything soft he could find underneath Bucky’s hips to keep him propped up. He’d just have to be careful not to get any of the mess on his coat, as much as part of Steve wanted to defile it. As much as he wanted to mark up everything Bucky had, including that goddamn coat, and show the entire world that this man belonged to someone.

He was pretty sure Bucky wouldn’t appreciate it in the slightest, though.

Apparently, Bucky had decided to forgo words, instead answering by rolling his eyes and opening his legs wider so that Steve was settled nicely between them.

Which was honestly sweet, and Steve found himself caressing Bucky’s hip for a moment. It was hard to get over looking at him. The long planes of olive-toned skin, the way his cock curved and laid heavy against his stomach, his bright grey eyes, currently half-lidded and lust-blown…

Really, Steve just wanted to devour him. Take everything Bucky had to offer and leave him a mess with not a drop left to give. And while it was probably a terrible idea to go that far out here, he could at least get a taste of it.

The Vaseline was thick on his fingers, greasy, but that was really the point in using it to begin with. Steve used it liberally until everything was slick and he was sure he wouldn’t accidentally hurt Bucky. Maybe before he wouldn’t have minded inflicting a little pain. And he kind of reveled in the way it would make Bucky choke back gasps and keens, but right now after he’d been through so much…

He just wanted Bucky to feel good. Steve wanted to spoil him as much as he possibly could, even with as little as he had to offer.

Bucky took a slow breath as Steve’s fingers traced around his entrance, and he could feel it almost fluttering against the pressure no matter how slowly Steve tried to take it.

“You need to relax for me,” Steve insisted softly, changing course and pressing a knuckle against the smooth skin just behind his balls.

Which was actually a little mean to say, considering that Steve knew for a damn fact that playing with that spot made Bucky tense up as pleasure burned slowly into him.

True to form, Bucky’s teeth dug into the fullness of his bottom lip as his hips and thighs tightened right up. A soft sound got caught in his throat and Steve could feel himself  _ throbbing _ just from hearing that much.

“That’s it sweetheart, keep nice and quiet for me,” Steve murmured, sliding his fingers back down to the tight furl of muscle. Watching as Bucky’s cock twitched against his stomach.

Bucky leveled a sharp glare at him that faltered once Steve pressed the very tip of his thumb into the heat of his body. “God, you’re a fucking tease,” he breathed as his head fell back.

“You like it, though,” Steve countered before leaning over Bucky to bite a trail of faint pink marks along his collarbone. Dragging his tongue over the tendons and being careful not to leave anything that would last longer than the night.

He could  _ feel _ the answering hum against his lips, the way Bucky’s hole flexed around what little he had inside of him, and it was more of an agreement than any words he could have said.

It was comforting, in spite of everything that had changed. In spite of the entire foot that Steve had grown, and all the muscle he’d put on, and all that  _ Bucky _ had changed… In spite of all that, Steve still knew how to play his best guy without even a second thought.

It served as a reminder that it was still  _ them _ .

“How much do you think you can take tonight?” Steve asked lowly. He tested the rim with his thumb, seeing how much give there was.

The slickness definitely eased the way, but Bucky still seemed a little too tense around the intrusion.

There was more than a little of that familiar, dazed obedience in his answer of, “Whatever you want, Stevie, I’ll take whatever you wanna give me.”

Not for the first time, Steve wondered if he could get off just by listening to Bucky talk like that. His breath felt shaky as he pulled his thumb out, only to replace it with his middle finger. It pressed in deeper, easier, and Steve found himself edging down, leaving a trail of biting kisses over Bucky’s chest and hips until he was tucked into the cradle of Bucky’s pelvis. Not quite at eye level with his cock, but close enough that Steve could watch precum building up in the slit.

Later, he might feel a little bitter that he couldn’t fuck into Bucky like any of the other guys he could have picked up. That he couldn’t give it to him proper and leave him aching and dripping.

Right now though, Steve was a little too focused on feeling Bucky go lax around his finger. How he’d tighten up again when Steve would edge in a second and would slowly loosen up around  _ that _ as well to let in a third.

How, in spite of that, Bucky was trying to fuck himself back on Steve’s fingers, clenching down on him every single time Steve brushed against his prostate.

“That’s it, gorgeous…” Steve took his time, sucking a more prominent mark on the inside of his thigh where it would be harder for others to see.

The sound that Bucky only barely managed to muffle was closer to a whimper than anything else, sharpening the burn in Steve’s stomach.

Not for the first time, he wished there was someplace they could go where Bucky  _ didn’t _ have to stifle himself. Where they could both be absolutely shameless in enjoying each other, and Steve could savor every cry, every moan, every sigh without worrying that they were maybe being too loud. That someone might catch them.

The salt of Bucky’s skin continued to tang across Steve’s tongue as he dragged it along the ridge of his hip bone, settling himself in as he started rubbing circles against the small swelling inside of Bucky’s ass.

The effect was immediate, with Bucky’s hand flying up to cover his mouth. The way his hips shoved back down and his other hand fisting in the fabric beneath his back. “God, Stevie…” It was a near-keen, and Steve could feel every tremor that rolled through him, as faint as they were.

Steve would get him there, though. He’d pull him apart piece by piece until he was a trembling mess. He was damn resolved to take away almost all of Bucky’s worries, even if it was only for a little while. Earlier concerns about Bucky’s limits long forgotten under the burn from watching Bucky fall apart.

“Yeah, sweetheart. I know.” He kept his motions slow, smooth, pressing along the clutching walls of Bucky’s hole as he entertained the thought of edging a fourth. Of maybe sliding his entire hand inside of Bucky.

The heat of him was almost overwhelming, especially compared to the chill around them. Steve wasn’t sure if the cold was the cause of the shaking and the prickling of their skin or if it was just plain need.

“Doing all right?” Steve asked lowly, thumb sliding over his perineum.

When it went unanswered, save for a stifled moan, Steve glanced up to check on him and--

God, there were tears in his eyes. Bright, glossy pools that hadn’t quite spilled over but probably would any minute.

Steve stilled immediately, a knot high in his throat. He wasn’t sure if he should stop, if he should just… 

But Bucky hadn’t asked him to stop, or indicated that it was too much. At the same time though, he rarely was moved to actual  _ tears _ when they did something as simple as this. “Bucky,” he prompted.

He blinked, picking his head up and immediately wetness spilled onto his cheeks. “I’m good,” he said, voice hoarse as if he’d been actually screaming instead of holding it all back. “It’s good, doll, don’t… don’t stop.”

The knot in his throat didn’t loosen much. While he recognized that that was about as much reassurance as Steve was going to get, it just… It just felt off for Bucky to get this far gone so easily, when he was barely even trying. When back home it tended to take something like tying the man down and leaving him there for a few minutes to get him like this.

Steve leaned up across him, feeling the dampness of Bucky’s cock smearing against his stomach as he kissed each of the tear tracks. “Just let me know if it’s too much,” he said sternly, lips moving against the arc of Bucky’s cheekbone.

“My guy’s such a sap,” Bucky murmured, nosing against Steve’s cheek. “Always taking care of me…”

Warmth blossomed across his face as he pressed harder against the small nub inside of Bucky as a way to distract him. Instinctively, his hips push down against his fingers as the softest moan got caught in his throat.

“You deserve it. I’d spoil you rotten if I could.”

A smile tugged at the corner of Bucky’s lips, even as his head fell back against the cot. “You’re already doing that. Ruined me for anyone else, swear to god.”

Steve hid an answering grin into the curve of Bucky’s shoulder, setting his teeth on it for a moment. “Perfect.”

It felt like Bucky was going to retort, be a smartass about it or something, but Steve didn’t really give him much of a chance to before readjusting his balance and wrapping his other hand around his cock. Feeling the heat and weight of it in his palm and taking a moment to drag his fingers over the dampness of the slit.

Whatever reply Bucky had been readying got choked back into a cry muffled against his palm.

“Don’t try and hold back,” Steve insisted, working him with both hands with a sort of expertise that came from handling someone’s body for nearly a decade.

And, really, Bucky gave it over so beautifully to him, alternating between trying to push his hips up and fuck into the circle of Steve’s fingers, then pressing down to get him deeper inside his ass.

A leg came up to loop around Steve’s in an attempt to grind against  _ something _ , and it was increasingly harder for him to ignore the pulsing between his own thighs, curling in his guts in that insistent way that had become so much more common since getting the serum.

Steve’s hand was slick as it stripped over Bucky’s length, grasping tighter just under the head and loosening near the base just like Bucky did to himself.

There was a tightness to Bucky’s jaw, likely clenching his teeth to hold back whatever sound he needed to silence.

“C’mon, sweetheart… I know you’re close; just gotta cum for me. Can you do that, Buck?” Steve asked lowly, teasing the edge of his pinky against the tightly-stretched hole. It wasn’t quite slick enough that he’d risk easing it inside, but… “Give it up for me honey, make a mess for me.”

Apparently that was all he needed. With a harsh breath, his muscles seized up, clamping down on Steve’s fingers hard enough that he couldn’t help imagine what that would be like if Bucky was clenching up around an actual cock. Around  _ Steve’s _ cock. Cum spilled over Steve’s hand, streaking onto his stomach and Steve was really glad he’d decided on getting Bucky’s clothes off for this. There was no conceivable way to clean this mess off the wool without getting the attention of someone in their team.

Bucky seemed to go lax in increments. His legs gave out first, splaying across both cots even as his hips continued to rock down on Steve’s fingers for a few seconds longer before finally falling limp as well. Still a hint of a whine at every exhale as he stared almost blankly at the top of their tent.

It was hard for Steve to convince himself to pull his fingers out, wiping the slick off on his own thigh. “There you go, doll,” Steve nearly crooned, easing himself down to curl up by Bucky’s side. “Feel better?”

Bucky snorted, arms sliding around the expanse of Steve’s back and just… Just holding onto him. “Pretty sure your hands are ridiculously bigger than they used to be,” he muttered, tucking his face into the curve of Steve’s neck. “Think I’m going to feel pretty loose for a few days.”

Which shouldn’t have been as hot to think about as it was, and Steve found himself swallowing thickly. The idea that he could fuck someone--fuck  _ Bucky _ \--hard enough, wide enough that he could feel it long after?

Fine, maybe he was overcompensating a little in his fantasies. Maybe he was still fairly resentful over what he wasn’t born with.

“That ok?” he asked, cupping Bucky’s ass without the intention of pressing for more.

There was something hazy in Bucky’s eyes as he blinked up at him, something fucked out and satisfied but also on the verge of falling asleep.

Which made sense, considering that it didn’t seem like Bucky got a lot of rest. Not that any of them were, but it felt like Bucky always got less.

“Always good with you,” he nearly slurred before tucking himself back into Steve. “Need me to do anything for you?”

Steve rolled his eyes before hiding himself in the curve of Bucky’s neck. “Nah. I’ll handle the clean up in a little bit. You just stay there and look gorgeous.”

Bucky tutted, hold tightening around Steve for a moment before returning to being loose and pliant.

He stayed there a little longer than he maybe should have, not wanting to pull away from the heat of Bucky around him, but he also knew for damn sure that he wasn’t capable of keeping Bucky warm enough if he didn’t put at least some of his clothes back on.

But still. He pressed his lips to Bucky’s jaw, knowing that he could spare maybe an hour just like this before Bucky started to complain about it.


End file.
